Motherlode Weblog: Weekly Quandary: Does the Introverted Preschooler Need ‘Work’?

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From instructor Rebecca R. Clark’s lesson strategy on Introverts, Extroverts and Ambiverts.Credit score Rebecca R. Clark

In the Weekly Quandary, we pull from the remarks, the weekly open thread or electronic mail a question that we know (or at least suspect) plagues far more than one parent. You — the readers — give the suggestions: How have you resolved this (or not) in your loved ones? This week’s quandary came from a comment from the reader SN, that I suspect was meant for the Open Thread, but posted on the satirical essay Flip Your Princess-Obsessed Toddler Into a Feminist in Eight Easy Methods:

I spoke with my three-12 months-old’s teachers in a regular mother or father-teacher conference, who produced it their major company to point out all the factors about my son that I should be “working on”: He sucks his thumb and he’s happier exploring/playing by himself than playing with other youngsters. “What are you doing to do perform on this?” asked his principal teacher.

Seem, I don’t want to be one of these my-child-is-ideal mother and father, but my child is delightful — loves to sing, go through, talk, play, etc. I’m a perfectionist in my work and have tried to be wary of pondering of my son as some thing to “work on,” allow alone “fix.” He’s a individual, not a task, and I find his teacher’s strategy to him downright cold, and I’m feeling down about it.

Is this feeling affordable? Or need to I be glad that his teacher is taking an curiosity in improving my youngster? I feel she would say (did say in fact) that this is towards the higher aim of producing his existence simpler: so he won’t be shunned as an introverted thumbsucker, basically.

Fellow introverts and readers of Susan Cain’s “Quiet” will recognize that there is no shame in currently being reserved, and no explanation to worry about, much significantly less interfere with, a less gregarious kid (my consider) — but numerous will also agree with jzzy55, who replied in the feedback that “developing social competence is 1 of the factors people send their kids” to preschool, and with the regular Motherlode contributor and distinct extrovert Jessica Lahey, who has written (about older young children):

As a instructor, it is my occupation to educate grammar, vocabulary and literature, but I need to also educate my students how to do well in the planet we live in — a world exactly where most men and women won’t end talking. If anything at all, I really feel even far more strongly that my introverted college students must learn how to self-advocate by communicating with parents, educators and the globe at big.

Need to SN support her youngster “work” on taking pleasure in becoming with other individuals as effectively as “exploring/enjoying by himself” or let him be?

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